The root of your writing whilst appearing reasonable originally, did not settle very well with me after some time. Somewhere within the sentences you actually managed to make me a believer but only for a short while. I still have a problem with your jumps in logic and one would do nicely to help fill in those breaks. When you actually can accomplish that, I will definitely be amazed.
Anne Murilla –
The root of your writing whilst appearing reasonable originally, did not settle very well with me after some time. Somewhere within the sentences you actually managed to make me a believer but only for a short while. I still have a problem with your jumps in logic and one would do nicely to help fill in those breaks. When you actually can accomplish that, I will definitely be amazed.
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